Description of an Emotional Release Process
During my training as a Journey Practitioner we learned how to drop through our stored up emotional layers to enter a boundless and timeless state of being.
"I live with an awareness of something that didn’t used to be here. We call it source.
An awareness... that who “I” am is something of an illusion, a construct of a story that wove itself in the past, much of it in the first years of my life, and some of it yet further away, in what you may call other lifetimes ...that this story contains beliefs and drives and necessities that all feel very real and urgent, but are after all not part of “me”, not part of the eternal consciousness that inhabits my body.
I am passing through the burning intensity of an anger that is pouring out of my whole body with a breathtaking power. I know this is a huge cleansing. Oddly this time there is no glimmer of memory of who had originally caused this feeling, as if what is burning away here is something of my own. A last clingy veil of my own weaving that still separated me from Source. I have been through such a flaming passage before. I surrender and dive into it. It has no substance... I keep breathing while my body is shaking, spit and tears shooting out of my face... I need to hold on to the pillow I sit on... I allow it all... I listen... as if I can hear my very cells screaming... and now I can feel it leaving my body... just like that, magically... something lets go... a softness begins to spread... I wait... and...
...now ...I am... not “me”... but dispersed boundlessly into countless particles... and at the same time there is a me in each of these infinite particles. And the me in my familiar human body is weeping over the immensity of love welcoming me here. My eyes weeping, my voice stammering... for the eternity of the first moments, there are no words. This vast love embraces me, as if every single molecule of matter around me is stretching out its arms, holding me, carrying me, rocking me so tenderly... no matter what thing or being these molecules are a part of, in them I am everywhere, and I am... home. Resting... utterly free of worries, of struggles, of duties. Held in a love that feels... dense... almost thick, like honey.
Seen through the linear eyes of time this love becomes visible now as a stream of energy that flows like an ever-meandering river. Golden. Magnetic. Endless. I can feel a vibration buzzing in the cells of my body, aligning with its steady current. There is an invitation to allow myself to be carried by THIS, always.
What is life like in the embrace of THIS? Every day? How are responsibilities taken care of? Problems solved, teenagers raised, bills paid, decisions made...?
Source speaks in pictures, many pictures, clear and beautiful... I see... I feel ...and my thinking mind eases into trusting that it is all right to give up a burden... the burden of being in charge. Ahhhh... I can see the present and the future gently laid out for me… and the river carrying me through. Without that burden there is no more need to know how I will arrive anywhere... because there is nowhere to arrive. Nowhere to stay. Nothing to reach. Nothing to hold on to…
If I can let myself be carried that way, life will become more beautiful than anything I could ever plan for.
Initially I thought my life could be forever changed by this experience. But then it wasn’t. At least not as dramatically as I had dreamed of; not in the way of a miraculous, always-present access to the magic of love it seemed to have offered me. I actually went through a prolonged phase of seeking, trying to prove to myself that I could go back to that entrancing state of being, that I had been worthy of this experience. And when it sank in that my life hadn’t actually changed all that much, I had to go through something like a phase of mourning. - I didn’t understand that much about long term integration yet.
That Journey happened over two years ago.
Do I now actually live in this river?
No. Maybe sometimes... a little.
I dip my toes in more often. And also my feet.
I think about it.
I think there are human beings on this earth who live that way, maybe those are the ones we call enlightened.
For now it seems to be enough for me just to know THIS exists. As much as I long for it, I have let go of wanting to prove that “I” can make it happen. It seems there is a path, and it seems I am guided. That’s enough too. I have no idea in the end what governs the immersion into the river, and I don’t need to. This too is not here as a measure of being good enough. It’s enough right now to live life with all its little hurdles, challenges and mysteries. My desk is still messy, my daughter doesn’t come out of her room when I call for her to set the table, I still work too long without eating or taking a break, I regularly forget to do Yoga or meditate, and my herb garden is overgrown with weeds... And yet... I remember that it is enough to be still on the inside and present with whoever I am with. Whether that’s Jimmy, my daughters, a client, a friend, my ex-husband or a total stranger. Even when it is just me.
In the end what is needed is very little."
Brief Process Outline of
Reprogramming the Past
Healing the Pain of the Younger Self
Visit the Bright Future with special attention to a desired life quality, ability, well-being, or sense of freedom that is lacking right now.
Connect as your Present Self with your Bright Future Self.
Let the Bright Future Self guide you back to a Younger Self, who needs healing and help in letting go of a negative conviction about herself that is in the way, that would prevent the Bright Future from unfolding.
How old is this Younger Self, where is it and what is happening?
Connect with your Younger Self, and let her/him feel the support and love of the two grown up selves.
Who is the main cause of her/his pain?
What is that person doing/not doing that creates this pain?
Summon the person that's involved.
Slip into the body of the Younger Self
Help her/him speak freely and honestly to express her/his feelings and ask for what she/he needs.
(Create conditions of safety if necessary)
Watch how the other person responds.
Or imagine how they would respond.
Are they sorry? Are they taking it in? Do they get it?
How does their response make you as the Younger Self feel?
How do you want to respond to that?
Again express with full honesty.
How does your body feel as the Younger Self afterwards?
Keep checking repeatedly!
Do you need to change the body size to change the power distribution?
(Perhaps make them small and yourself big)
(Give yourself assistance, support, any sources of power necessary you can imagine)
Look for the anger if it has not come up yet.
Has anger been hiding in the pain?
How do you need to express it?
How do you want to give the pain back to them?
Are words not enough?
Do you need to hurt them physically or emotionally?
If so, play that out.
Does the other person need to be sentenced to some form of punishment?
Play that out.
(You can fast forward time.)
Keep watching their face to see if they got how much they hurt you.
If nothing you do or say touches them:
Do you want to fire them from the role they had in your life?
Does anybody need to be forgiven? Including yourself?
When complete, ask the Younger Self if she/he wants to come with you into your Bright Future.
Thank the Bright Future Self for their guidance, presence and support.